Saturday, November 24, 2007

New Van & More Stupid Driver Tales

We bought a new van this week. Its more of a cargo type van than a mini-van. It currently seats fourteen, but we are going to have some work done on it. We are going to have a few seats removed, a suspension upgrade, and an entertainment system added.

Our driver continues to aggrevate the hell out of Tim and I. If our driver was on a Thai version of the gameshow Jeapordy against a blind skunk and a steaming sack of horse shit, I'm not saying I wouldn't bet on him to win. I will say though, that I wouldn't bet all my money on him to win.

Its almost comical that a man who makes his living driving frequently doesn't know where he is going. The fact that he is too proud to admit he doesn't drains most of the humor out of it. This isn't like the U.S. where if you miss a turn you can easily turn around. Here, most of the roads are divided. If you miss a turn, you might have to drive a couple of kilometers until you come to a designated U-turn. When Tim offers guidance (like "go straight here"), he starts to argue or ignore her, so she'll have to repeat herself. Let me tell you, her tone leaves no doubt about how much she likes that. Its funny because while I only understand some of the words, I always understand the conversation.

Today he managed to piss me off a couple of times. I was installing Aleena's car seat in the van. I had to adjust the seatbelt length, and loop it through the seat. I was trying to make the seat tight, so this took several iterations. I was in the middle of looping it through a second time when the driver puts his hand on the buckle and tries to help by pulling it away from me. Barely holding my temper in check, I took it back and said in Thai that I'd do it myself.

I've had a couple of Thai people do this before, try to help by taking something I was working on out of my hand. Now, I understand that they were trying to help, but it really boils my blood. The message I hear when someone pulls something out of my hands is "hey dumb f'er, let me do this for you. "

When we picked Tim up, we moved the car seat and I had to reattach it. I was standing in the van working on the seat, when the driver started pulling out of the parking spot. I said "stop" in English, and Tim said "wait" in Thai. He kept going. I'm not ashamed to say that I gained enormous satisfaction from what occurred next. While Tim said "wait" again louder, I bellowed in a deep and loud voice "stop" again in English. Now, I cannot say for certain whose words caused him to stop the van. Perhaps he heard Tim the second time. Maybe it took ten or fifteen seconds for the first instruction to sink through.

I would like to believe, however, that my yell transcended the language barrier. Could the fury and volume of my voice have conveyed instant understanding? Perhaps not, but it felt very good.

Yelling is so un-Thai. Thai's like to keep a smiling face even when they are unhappy. Most Thai's abhor confrontation and like to pretend nothing is wrong, even when there is an obvious problem. More on that at another time.

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