No Teeth

The title to this blog entry refers not to what one would prefer when it comes to oral copulation, but rather the Thai policy on official pictures. Read on and I'll explain.

Today I went and got my Thailand driver's license. As some of you may have read, my last attempt failed because I needed a form from the U.S. Embassy saying that I was living here in Thailand. Armed with that document (which cost $30), a medical certificate and my Ohio driver's license, I set off again to obtain the legal right to driver here.

Tim's contact met us at the DMV (not sure what its really called) and helped us jump the queue. After filling out some paperwork, I waited in line with a group of Thais to take a battery of tests. The first test was to determine color blindness, as the tester pointed at the colors and I stated them out loud in English. I could have probably done it in Thai, as I remember green and red, but I frequently forget yellow. The second test was a peripheral vision test. Unlike in the U.S., where they would have wiped the area where you rested your chin between each participant, she wanted until everyone was finished before wiping it down. I guess that way you at least reduce the spread of any disease to about 10 or so people. O.O

The third test was a reflex test. The examinees sat in a chair in front of a little box on the floor with a gas and brake pedal, and about 15 feet away there was a box with a red and green light. You held your foot on the gas until the red light flashed. When the red light flashed you had to hit the break. A light meter on the box showed if you passed or failed.

The final test measured depth perception. You had to line up these two sticks so that they were parallel to each other. The sticks were about 15 feet away, and one was controlled by a two button remote control.

The instructions for all of these were in Thai. Fortunately, Tim managed to translate them for me. On the fourth test, she forgot to tell me that there was a 30 second time limit, so I was taking my time trying to line the two sticks up. Tim yelled at me that I only had 30 seconds.

I managed to pass all the tests. Our contact then helped us jump another queue to get the actual license. When the official went to take my picture, I did what I always did and smiled. He looked at me and said, "no teeth, you can't show your teeth". So, I managed to smile anyway without showing my teeth.

When it comes to taking ones own personal pictures, Thais are free with their smiles and even enjoy flashing the "V" sign with one or both hands. When it comes to official pictures, however, Thais are all business. Tim explained to me that you just are not supposed to smile for official pictures.

It left me wondering, am I the only person in the land of smiles (a nickname for Thailand) with a smile on my driver's license? Probably not, but who knows for certain.

My driver's license is good for one year, after which I can renew it for a five year period. The driver's license is a plastic card, similar to my Ohio one. The official told me that they had just installed the new system. The old one, as Tim showed me, is paper and laminated. The new ones are much nicer.